Professional Women of Color
Feature Four: Pauline Fortuna
The United States has seen tremendous change over the last decade. In 2012, we re-elected our nation’s first black president, and life seemed to be getting better for people of color. Things would change again as the pendulum of American politics swung further right than ever imagined.
When #45 became president in 2017, he ripped a scab off our country’s history, emboldening long-hidden racists from the days of yore when separate drinking fountains were the norm. Harkening back to slavery, segregation, and jim crow, the enabler-in-chief spouted out “fine people, on both sides,” guaranteeing the list of white-American atrocities could continue.
In light of renewed violence and dog whistles blown for open racism, Asian Americans have been targeted as carriers of the CoronaVirus. Military veterans are told “go back to your country” despite their service and valor in combat. Not attempting to minimize the ever-present violence against other POCs, this article intends to add a positive story to the Medium sphere.
Today’s Professional Woman of Color (PWOC) is a Japanese-American friend from high school, who I remember as a joyful, funny, charismatic person who was always surrounded by friends. Her smile often hid the reality of life as a kid trapped between an ethnically diverse population in the United States and the homogeneous culture of her earliest memories in Japan.
Early Life in Japan and Transition to Life in the States
Born in Yokosuka, her mother was from Kagoshima, and her father was serving in the US armed forces on a military base nearby. She has fond memories of early childhood, including beach excursions, trips to grandma’s, Disney World, dancing, and school. But after moving to South Carolina (remaining stateside until adulthood) in 4th grade, life became more difficult. There was bullying and teasing, but also friction between Pauline and her mother.
Understanding American Catholic school culture and how different it was from rural Japanese schools proved very difficult for all the Fortunas. Lenient neighborhood and school parents only added to the growing distance between Pauline and her mother — the longer they stayed in the US, the less the two would communicate.
At school in South Carolina, she was teased about her clothes and was often on the receiving end of the class bully’s antics. On one occasion, Pauline’s mother had made special bento lunch boxes with carefully prepared portions of food in each container to ensure Pauline and her sister were full for the rest of the school day. Onlookers told her that the food looked repulsive. Ashamed of what her mother had prepared, she immediately put it away and lied about disliking it.
As soon as she was out of sight and in the safety of her mother’s car, she would devour the unfinished portion of her lunch. She told her mother not to prepare bento boxes anymore, and her mother stopped. It wasn’t until time spent in Japan as an adult that Pauline learned the beauty behind bento. Rice balls beautifully crafted into pandas and Pokemon, as carefully cut fruit would embellish the character of the day.
Racism Revealed
She remembers learning about the KKK and the revulsion the confederate flag evoked in her. One of her neighborhood friends, a POC, showed Pauline a home with a red spray-painted “KKK, n-word go away.” She was disturbed hearing her friend’s parents use the same racial slur.
Her father soon renounced his side of the family, learning of abuse that Pauline and her sister had endured one summer. She later discovered that her paternal grandfather had warned Pauline’s father during deployment not to marry one of those Asian women.
“My mother is afraid now, scared of going out, hearing about all the recent stories of Asian harassment, killings, and beatings.” She told her mother not to worry because Pauline and her sister will always be there when she decides to go out. Her mom never has to be alone in public and is fortunate to have them. “I know other moms are not so fortunate.”
Fortuna realizes that her mother was struggling with a constantly mobile, military lifestyle, language difficulties, and culture shock. The culmination of a fractured family, abuse, and bullying overwhelmed everyone, especially Pauline. Had her parents told her of the difficulties she might encounter and the dangers of a particular set of friends, life might have been easier. There was just no communication.
“Hafu” (ハーフ) Identity Crisis
In Pauline’s early years, a lack of identity emerged from not having other “Hafus” around or anyone who shared a resemblance. Without a constant, suitable role model, Pauline began drawing blonde hair and blue eyes in her sketchbooks. An infatuation with caucasian beauty was born out of this lack of representation, as was a disconnect from her own beauty.
Because a detrimental belief that caucasian beauty was ideal and everything else was secondary took hold, reading fashion magazines became her source of escapism. Magazine escapism fed a cycle of self-hate and wishing for longer legs, a smaller nose, lighter hair, and significantly bigger eyes.
Discontent with her self-image would manifest in junior high and come to fruition in high school. She was miserable playing the role of happy daughter and wanted to give up. She then saw the pain she was causing the family and eased up. Her parents gave Pauline and her sister more privacy and freedom. More lenient parents and friends who embraced her helped, but university was the ultimate catalyst for change, where she began to accept and appreciate herself.
Coming Into Her Own
It was a literature class focused on the female minority experience that sparked her interest. Her other fine art classes provided an insight into different cultures through their history and artistic aesthetics. She stopped being afraid to admit who she was and adopted an appreciation of other arts and cultures.
As a biology major for four years, she had envisioned herself in forensics, law enforcement, languages, or computer science but had a passion for none of them. Taking pictures of her friends gave her great joy but studying fine art photography was different than what she had anticipated.
As a self-labeled turtle, Pauline has always taken her time to understand every angle. After a year in fine art photography, she realized that she should have enrolled in an art school specifically for technical photography. Pressing on, she earned her BFA, an achievement of which she is still proud.
Racism at Work
Pauline is no stranger to unconscious racism. Mistaken for many identities, Native American, Latinx, and Hawaiian, she could “pass” as other ethnicities. There were times where individuals made jokes or comments about “Asian eyes,” not realizing Pauline’s heritage. Laughing begrudgingly, she grew up thinking that her eyes were not positive attributes.
Married to a US Marine, she and her sister attended a Marine Ball with a WWII veteran as a guest speaker. He used the term “jap” twice, which was enough to shock her and make her immediately uncomfortable. She didn’t comment or complain despite knowing this term was used to ridicule the Japanese during the second world war.
While working at a Japanese camera corporation, her white supervisor was relaying a message from a superior. Someone asked who sent the original message and her supervisor proceeded to use both index fingers to pull his eyes back, depicting that it was one of the “Asians.” She was again jarred and immediately reported to HR. Her boss was reprimanded, but HR appeared disinterested, and she left shortly after.
Advice for Young Photographers
Pauline stresses the importance of primary business and tax knowledge before becoming self-employed. She adds that acquiring this knowledge will help ease the pain of owning your own business. If you generate enough income to hire people to help with your business, it helps to understand how they are helping you rather than granting carte blanche to that person. If something happens, you need to know exactly what it is that they do.
The second bit of advice is to identify a specific interest, adding that “specializing is just easier for the consumer. Being specific will help with success”. She wishes she hadn’t spread herself too thin trying to learn everything instead of focusing on what she wanted to shoot.
Conclusion
Pauline’s true passion lies in photographing women in creative portrait styles and has recently created a “luxury series” for women. Having booked high-end clients in this niche, she could not be happier. Perfect timing, it seems, as it has 18 been years in the making. The inner turtle has finally figured out what success means.
Thank you kindly for reading. If you’re looking to update your LinkedIn profile with a dazzling new professional portrait, look no further than Pauline. Here’s her Instagram feed.
I’ve written other articles in this series, so check them out if you fancy. Here’s one about my friend Kemi Bennings. I’m a copywriter specializing in ghostwriting, B2B white papers, web page copy, and ads. Hit me up @ terryofaulkner.com if you want to have a virtual coffee, and I’ll show you how we can make your copy go to work for you.
